AGM NTU-ISCF

3^rd May
AGM NTU-ISCF
(Nanyang Technological University-Indonesian Students' Christian Fellowship)

Hmm..To be honest, I am confused whether I should share this story or not.. Well, I realized that I am blessed is to be a blessing..Yet, I'm afraid of writing something that would be misleading.. XD

For ~6 months, I've been asking Father, whether I should continue my ministry in NTU-ISCF as president , hongen, exco, or subcomm. My main concern is God's calling in something else which I need to prepare during my third year in NTU (Note: I'm second year now). How do I know for sure God's calling in this or that? My friend told me, “You have to pray for it everyday.”

Frankly speaking, although I've been asking Father for this matter, I've been trying to run away from His calling in ISCF ministry as well. I said to my exco friends (one day before AGM) that I wouldn't run myself as president nor hongen. However, when AGM started, I felt God put His passion for ISCF in my heart. Since that time, I kept asking God, “Which one is Your will: this or that or even both??!! (I'm sorry I cannot share His calling in something else, I'm not ready yet).

Election time came. I was deeply confused. I decided to let God reveal His will through floor, who would determined the election result through their voting. Finally, I was elected as hongen. I've been amazed at how He called me and grateful bcos He chose me, who is full of weaknesses.

Talking about God's calling, He taught me from Exodus 4,which shows Moses' fear (vv1, vv10) and his attempt to resist God's calling (vv13):

1 Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?"

10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

13 But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

Then, God's response to Moses' fear: 11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

From Moses' story, I was reminded that God never asks me to go to a place where He won't lead.

At the end of AGM, we sang "Here I am", which has reminded me of who is my Mighty Father and what should I do as His child:

~Here I am~

I, the Lord of sea and sky
I have heard my people cry
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save.

I who made the stars and night
I will make the darkness bright
Who will bear my light to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart.

I the Lord of snow and rain
I have borne my people's pain
I have wept for love of them
They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone
Fill their hearts with love alone
I will speak my word to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart.

I will hold your people in my heart...

God, I don't know when will be my last day to live on earth, but I hope at the end of the "race" I can say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Tim 4:7). And.. I hope God will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" (Mat 25:23a).

Well, I'm still far beyond this kind of situation, but I am sure God helps me to walk by His side, day by day, into Christlikeness.