Today, the exam result was released. I opened at 12.30 am, and it's jammed. After refreshing several times, it popped up suddenly. I was so surprised at the result. My roommate then asked me, “Maria, what happenned? Are you okay?!” I just answered, “I'm totally confused. I can't understand my exam result..! Bcos, for some modules which I felt difficult, I score high. However, for the 'easy modules', I scored a bit low. How come?!” I was reminded (again) that no matter how hard I study, GOD is the One who controls :) So, next time during exam period, I must remember: 1. Just do my best 2. Rely on Him wholeheartedly 3. Never bother about the result, bcos GOD sees my heart instead.
This exam result matters a lot to me as it affects my decision whether I'll drop off my ABP or not. I thought deeply until I slept very late. Then, I finally decided that I'd still be in ABP cos I wanted to do overseas FYP. Without ABP, my graduation would be delayed bcos of late credit transfer. However..I still had no peace after I decided so.
Few hours ago, my best friend asked me about my exam result. I told him that I was so sad bcos my result is worse than last sem's. Then, he reminded me that I should seek His will and ABP might not be for me. Jesus may want me do something else in NTU. And since I've committed to be a hongensec of NTU-ISCF for the next academic year, I might work for Him better without ABP. I just couldn't accept it. I've planned everything for the next 1.5 year when I decided to take ABP. Oh GOD, please..I don't want to drop the ABP.
After that, I called my parents to ask for their advice. Surprisingly, they asked me to drop off the ABP. They are the ones who encouraged me last sem to take ABP. But they told me just now, “It's better that you enjoy your 4 years in NTU, rather than rushing to finish in 3.5 years without clear objective.” Ow..okay..at that time..I was still “arguing” with them. But they insisted me to drop it off and told me that I'd regret if I din't drop off the ABP.
I then compared the timetable if I take ABP and if not. I saw there's not much difference in total AU (academic unit), except for the exam timetable. If I take ABP, I'll have exams on Nov: 12,13,18,19,20,21,25,27. If I don't: 12,13,17,19,21,25,27. It's quite impossible to study effectively for all the consecutive exams if I'm in ABP cos I usually don't study after exam.
Finally.........................I decided to drop off the ABP. Now, I feel that GOD's taken away my regret about the exam result. Why? Bcos this sem (worse) exam result is a GIFT from GOD. I imagined that if I scored higher, I would surely stay in ABP.
After listing down all the pros and cons of ABP for myself, I found that there're more pros if I'm not an ABP student.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
1 comments:
Wah, Maria suka ngeblog ya, hehehe ^^
(abang tukang bakso = tmn SBS indo yg ikutan donor darah bareng), biar lu ga penasaran, wakaka
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