4 jam lagiii

Deg2an nih..
Bentar lagi bakal berangkat ke airport..mo pulang Indo.. S
ekarang jam 6.20am..pesawatnya jam 11.05am.

Kenapa deg2an ya? Apa mungkin aku takut?
Takut untuk balik ke Singapore lagi. Mengingat waktu ku di sana hanya 8 hari XD

Hmm..Liburan kali ini, mesti do "project" ini dan itu di Indo.
Apa mungkin ini jg bikin aku deg2an, karena aku terlalu result-oriented?

Anyway, I am very happy.
I will be with my family soon :)
Hope to be His salt and light wherever I go.

My exam result is God's gift

Today, the exam result was released. I opened at 12.30 am, and it's jammed. After refreshing several times, it popped up suddenly. I was so surprised at the result. My roommate then asked me, “Maria, what happenned? Are you okay?!” I just answered, “I'm totally confused. I can't understand my exam result..! Bcos, for some modules which I felt difficult, I score high. However, for the 'easy modules', I scored a bit low. How come?!” I was reminded (again) that no matter how hard I study, GOD is the One who controls :) So, next time during exam period, I must remember: 1. Just do my best 2. Rely on Him wholeheartedly 3. Never bother about the result, bcos GOD sees my heart instead.

This exam result matters a lot to me as it affects my decision whether I'll drop off my ABP or not. I thought deeply until I slept very late. Then, I finally decided that I'd still be in ABP cos I wanted to do overseas FYP. Without ABP, my graduation would be delayed bcos of late credit transfer. However..I still had no peace after I decided so.

Few hours ago, my best friend asked me about my exam result. I told him that I was so sad bcos my result is worse than last sem's. Then, he reminded me that I should seek His will and ABP might not be for me. Jesus may want me do something else in NTU. And since I've committed to be a hongensec of NTU-ISCF for the next academic year, I might work for Him better without ABP. I just couldn't accept it. I've planned everything for the next 1.5 year when I decided to take ABP. Oh GOD, please..I don't want to drop the ABP.

After that, I called my parents to ask for their advice. Surprisingly, they asked me to drop off the ABP. They are the ones who encouraged me last sem to take ABP. But they told me just now, “It's better that you enjoy your 4 years in NTU, rather than rushing to finish in 3.5 years without clear objective.” Ow..okay..at that time..I was still “arguing” with them. But they insisted me to drop it off and told me that I'd regret if I din't drop off the ABP.

I then compared the timetable if I take ABP and if not. I saw there's not much difference in total AU (academic unit), except for the exam timetable. If I take ABP, I'll have exams on Nov: 12,13,18,19,20,21,25,27. If I don't: 12,13,17,19,21,25,27. It's quite impossible to study effectively for all the consecutive exams if I'm in ABP cos I usually don't study after exam.

Finally.........................I decided to drop off the ABP. Now, I feel that GOD's taken away my regret about the exam result. Why? Bcos this sem (worse) exam result is a GIFT from GOD. I imagined that if I scored higher, I would surely stay in ABP.

After listing down all the pros and cons of ABP for myself, I found that there're more pros if I'm not an ABP student.

Thanks GOD..for the exam result.Bcos You love me so much, You allowed me to get worse exam result :) It's so painful when You reminded me in this way, but it maybe due to my stubbornness.

~Hebrews 12:11~

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

He is the LORD

I'd like to share some His great kindness and perfect plan for His beloved daughter =)

Last year when I was in Indonesia, there's a time when I didn't feel well. Initially, I didn't feel any need to see doctor cos I was sure that I'd get better soon. However, my mother asked me to do so. So, I just followed what she said. Then, the doctor said, “You're just too tired. You just need to take rest! Btw, have you got HBV vaccination? It's very important!!!” I went there not to be injected by HBV vaccine, please! But she forced me to do so..and again I just follow. Finally..I got the 3^rd shot (booster of the vaccine) around 1 month ago.

Bcos of that vaccination, I am now protected from HBV. Currently, I'm doing short term attachment at **** (better not to state the institution name bcos of some reasons). The research is about HBV (Hep B Virus) and Immunity. All staff there must have been vaccinated. During the interview for the attachment (around 2-3 months ago), the PI (principal investigator) asked me whether I've been vaccinated or not. I answered that I would finished all the 3 shots soon.

I was wondering, how great my Father in heaven is. Imagine if last year I wasn't sick and in the end didn't meet a doctor who forced me to be vaccinated?! I wouldn't be doing the short term attachment at **** now.

The Lord is very good...I do not know how to express it in words..but He is really really good. GOD has so perfectly directed my steps. He knew what's best for His daughter. After being sick, then went to doctor to be vaccinated..and now I can learn more about about "research world" during the attachment. This leads me to this question: "Why is He so good to me?!" From Exodus 29:46, I was thinking that it's to let people know that He is the LORD, who are The Greatest among the greatest.

They will know that I am the LORD their GOD, who brought them out of Egypt so that I might dwell among them. I am the LORD their GOD. [Exodus 29:46]

~Jeremiah 29:11~

For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."

GREAT! He plans to give us hope and future. It doesn't mean that life would be without problems. It's just bcos He loves us so much so that He wants us to learn from the difficulties. If there's problem around..just believe that it's a GOD-given opportunity for His beloved children. He will never leave nor forsake His children forever and ever. All in all, the learning process is for us to be more and more like Him..so that His Name alone will be glorified.

Soli deo gloria :)